


The Cutest Employee

by angelheartbeat



Series: oneshotstuck [3]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Art Store, F/F, Fluff, Humanstuck, It's cheesy and fluffy and the longest oneshot ive ever written, Meet-Cute, Recovering Alcoholic, Roxy is gay and underpaid let her live, Secret Admirer, Secret Crush, Self-Esteem Issues, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Trans Female Character, art store au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-31
Updated: 2017-07-31
Packaged: 2018-12-07 10:49:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11621991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelheartbeat/pseuds/angelheartbeat
Summary: Doodles + a repetitive job + some lucky breaks = true, unedited love <3





	The Cutest Employee

**Author's Note:**

> Alternate title: tooth-rotting fluff

==> Be the bored art store employee.

You are now Roxy Lalonde, 5'8 bubblegum-haired bombshell with a penchant for parties and a rainbow badge loosely pinned to your work uniform. It's 3pm on a Wednesday and you are just about bored out of your skull with every event currently transpiring in the art shop before you. Some teenagers giggling in the corner and messing with the paint-your-own masks, a tiny girl with white hair examining the paints, a young man fiddling with the mechanical pencils, and your co-worker attempting to calm down a short, skinheaded man who appears to be angrily yelling at him about something or other.

Okay, that last one sounds interesting.

==> Roxy: Check out co-worker attempting to calm down angry customer.

You sidle over to where Dirk appears to be about to commit seppuku with one of the paintbrushes nearby as he tries to calm down the man.

"Whoa, what's happening here?" you ask, raising an eyebrow, and the man turns to scowl at you at the same time Dirk turns to you, eyes pleading with you to release him from his short angry hell. 

The man looks you over, then looks Dirk over, before scowling even deeper, if that was possible. "Nothing," he growls, and you're taken aback by how low his voice is for such a little guy. Dirk visibly relaxes, all 6'2 of high-strung, angsty 22 year old flopping like someone cut his puppet strings. 

You give him your best customer-service smile. "Well then, sir, please stop causing a scene in our humble establishment!" And with that, you grab Dirk by the wrist and drag him back to the counter, letting your smile droop to a small smirk and looking up at him, a snorting giggle escaping you.

"Dont laugh at me," he mumbles, cheeks ablaze and the colour spreading to his ears. "He was really angry! I dont know why he stopped when you went over."

You giggle and lean your back against the counter, elbows propping yourself up. "I could've dealt with it better, but whos to say? That's the most interesting shit to happen all day. Fuck, probably all week."

"Try being yelled at by the little fucker," he retorts, but the colour is fading from his cheeks. The young man fiddling with the mechanical pencils comes over to the counter, and you ring him up with a professional smile, performing all the customary retail functions, "would you like a bag", "I'm underpaid and overworked and want to kill myself", "here's your receipt", all that jazz. Dirk ducks off to rearrange some paint, and you're left with the job of standing idly at the counter.

In a vacant attempt to kill boredom, you load up Pesterchum on your phone under the counter, and deliberate for a while over who to bug today. Eventually, you settle on simply messaging the group chat and seeing who picks up.

tipsyGnostalgic [TG]  began pestering chat: cacti buttplugs and other such shenanigans   
TG: uuuuuughhh  
TG: im so bored you guys  
TG: im so bored i could atcually die rihgt here right now  
turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering chat: cacti buttplugs and other such shenanigans   
TG: roxy found dead in miami   
TG: oh thank FUCK  
TG: thouhgt i was gonna b alone forever  
TG: but here's my knight in shniing armor  
TG: here i am babes   
TG: armor shining just for you   
TG: *swoons so fuckign hard*  
golgothasTerror [GT]  began pestering chat: cacti buttplugs and other such shenanigans   
GT: Good golly i forgot our chat was named that.   
TG: youre welcome   
TG: wgats the context again  
TG: doesn't need one

You glance up. The tiny white-haired girl is knelt by one of the tester sketchbooks, pencil in hand, seemingly working on a doodle. You smile, eyes darting to where Dirk is being forced to retrieve items from high shelves for the guy who was yelling at him just a short while ago. Stifling a snort, you look down at your phone again.

GT: I dont think the fact that cacti have water on the inside makes them a viable candidate for a buttplug, strider.   
GT: But i could be wrong!   
TG: you most certainly are buddy   
TG: mr lanky is bein used as a human crane  
TG: by mr lanky do you mean dirk   
TG: yea  
TG: nice  
GT: Oh goodness, order up!   
GT: Be back in a jiffy! 

You smile at that. Jake works as a waiter in a fancy Italian restaurant owned by one of your friends, one Eridan Ampora, and he couldn't hate it more, but for all his stinginess Eridan pays well, and Jake needs the money. Naturally, Jake being Jake, he puts on an excellent brave face about it, and often uses the money to buy Dirk gifts at random intervals that turn his taller boyfriends cheeks bright red.

Glancing up again, Dirk has been freed from his tiny man-prison, and is rearranging markers in a display, while the white-haired girl is still doodling. You're jolted out of your thoughts by the skinheaded man slamming some clay and paintbrushes down on the counter and fixing you with a glare. You tuck your phone into your pocket and smile.

"Good afternoon, sir!" you trill sarcastically, and you swear to god his eye twitches, and you have to stifle a laugh. "Will you be wanting a bag?"

You start ringing up his items as he nods angrily, and you wonder just who hurt this dude to make him quite this angry. Hes almost as bad as Karkat. You have to stifle another laugh at the thought of Karkat and this guy ever meeting as you bundle his items into a bag and tap a couple things on the display.

"That'll be four dollars and thirteen cents," you say with a grin, taking his outstretched five-dollar bill and counting out his change. He growls what might (might) be a thank you as you drop the change in his outstretched palm, before he grabs the bag and spins on his heel.

You watch as he approaches the tiny white-haired girl and grabs her by the oversized raincoat, dragging her forcefully into the drizzly day. You wince at that. Dirk wanders over and leans against the table. The teenagers have dispersed into the cloudy day without buying anything. 

"Well, that was eventful," Dirk remarks, smirking and retrieving his phone to check it briefly, smile devolving into a frown, which he directs at you. "Why did you set Dave on a rant about how gangly I am? Hes two inches shorter than me."

"Wasn't me," you say innocently, surreptitiously pushing your phone deeper inside your pocket. Dirk waves his phone in front of your face.

"I have the receipts, Lalonde, don't play me like this."

"I'll play you however I want, Strider, don't test me."

"You wanna fight me? Square up, shorty."

You snort. "Shorty? I'm, like, only a few inches shorter than you. How come you never call anyone else shorty?"

"It fits you the best." You make a face at that and Dirk makes one right back, before turning to survey the empty store. You would like how calm it was if you weren't so bored out of your skull.

Dirk starts texting the group chat and you roll your eyes, pulling up a game of solitaire your sister told you to try. It's possibly even more boring than hanging around the empty shop, or at least you think that at first. After a little while, you think you see why Rosey likes it so much. Or at least, you're slightly less bored than you were before.

The store starts to fill up again before long and you have to shut down your solitaire and pull up your customer smile, interacting with countless customers buying all sorts of supplies. Dirk is being hounded, often for being a human crane again, and you watch him with a twinkle in your eyes. You're fairly sure some of the girls are flirting with him, and that is possibly the funniest shit you've ever seen.  _Chill your tits, girls,_ you think every time one of them giggles obnoxiously and twirls her hair.  _Hes gay, plus he has a boyfriend whos much cuter than you guys will ever be. Bless up, Jakey._

Somehow, you and Dirk drag yourselves through to the end of the day, and breathe a collective sigh of relief when you can close up shop at the end of the day. You're closing your solitaire game when Dirk calls your name.

"Yo, Rox. Come look at this."

==> Roxy: Go look at that.

You saunter over, eyebrow raised. Hes pointing at a drawing on the tester sketchbook, done in pencil, and both your eyebrows shoot up. 

It's a drawing of you, sat at the counter, not-so-subtly looking down at your phone. It's perfect, right down to the tiny star tattoo at the corner of your eye, and the darker patches of pigment scattered across your skin. You can feel your mouth forming a little o, and if you're not mistaken your cheeks are turning red. 

Whipping out your phone, you snap a photo before kneeling down and examining it closer. It looks exactly like you. Dirk watches you carefully, probably trying to figure out whether you find this creepy or not.

"This is fucking amazing," you breathe, reaching to rip out the page of the sketchbook. It gets folded up and tucked in your pocket, before your phone once again gets pulled out, this time to let the others know.

tipsyGnostalgic [TG]  began pestering chat: cacti buttplugs and other such shenanigans   
TG: G  
TG: U  
TG: Y  
TG: S  
TG: OMFG

Oh look, some more people have come online since you were last on. Means more will bear witness to your luck.

GG: ???   
GG: What's happened, Roxy?   
TG: what jane said   
TG: LOOOOOKO  
tipsyGnostalgic [TG]  sent image to chat: cacti buttplugs and other such shenanigans   
TG: SOMEONE DREW ME ON THE TESTER SKETCHBOOSK  
TG: oh my god youve got a secret admirer   
GG: Roxy, that's beautiful!   
GT: Blimey! Youre a lucky gal, rox!   
TG: oh hey jake disnr know you werebhere  
GG: aaaah!!!!! thats amazing roxy!!!   
TG: ikr???!!!!   
GG: Do you have any idea who it could be?   
timaeusTestified [TT]  began pestering chat: cacti buttplugs and other such shenanigans   
TT: Roxy's ignoring me in favour of messaging yall. I might as well see whats happening.   
TG: whats up mr lanky   
TT: What a master of comedy you are, Dave.   
GT: Good afternoon, strider!   
GG: Roxy! Dont ignore Dirk! :B 

You look at Dirk. Hes smiling at you, and you smile back, because hes not actually mad, just Dirk being Dirk.

GG: so, DO you have any idea who it is???   
TG: nope  
TG: a shit ton of peoepl use thwse sjetxhbooks  
TG: like a shit ton  
GT: Are you going to make any attempt to find out?   
GG: Ooh, I could help with sleuthing!   
TT: I'll probably just keep an eye out in case it happens again.   
TG: what if it doesn't   
TG: well then thats depressing  
TG: we should proooobably close up the stire  
TG: see yalls

Pocketing your phone, you allow yourself to squeal and grab Dirk's hands, bouncing up and down. He lets you spin him around and bounce, smirk on his face. 

"Dirk! This is so cute!" you squeak, spinning to a stop and grinning up at him. 

"Dunno why you're acting like I drew it." he says, but hes smiling just as much as you are, and you pause.

"Wait.  _Did_ you draw it?"

He laughs and pushes you away slightly. "Of course I didn't, dumbass. Why would I ever draw lame old you?"

You stick your tongue out at him before spinning on your heel and bouncing towards the door, key in hand, ready to lock up. He follows suit, hands loosely in pockets, still smirking.

==> Roxy: Lock up the store.

Once you're outside and the door is locked, you stretch and hear the vertebrae down your spine click satisfyingly, while Dirk cringes at the sound. Just to annoy him, you grin and crack your knuckles, making him whack you lightly round the head. 

"Wanna go out somewhere tonight?" you ask, raising an eyebrow, and he twists his face before shaking his head.

"Not out, but movie night? We can get everyone round mine and Jake's." he offers, and you nod in agreement.

"I'm down! You let everyone know, I'll swing round my place and pick up some snacks and shit. Sound good!"

He nods, and you nod back, sharing a high five before walking back to the parking lot where both your cars were parked - well. Dirk's obnoxious bright orange car he always insists is ironic, and your beloved hot pink motorbike, complete with cat-ear-adorned helmet. You exchange quick goodbyes, and swing yourself onto your bike.

==> Roxy: Race home whilst thinking. 

As you roar along the roads, the drawing of you is fresh in the front of your mind. You can feel the thick paper digging into your thigh from where you shoved it into your pocket, and consider pulling it out to look at, but then you decide it would probably be too irresponsible, even with your reputation.

The idea that someone would use you of all people as a model is astounding. You've got poorly-hidden bags under your eyes and you've already got slight laugh lines and near-permanently crinkled eyes from your smile. Your chest is near-nonexistent, your nose is too big, and the patches of darker skin on you are just that - patchy. Overall, you don't think you make a very nice figure to draw. You certainly don't feel like a very nice figure to draw. You're a transgender recovering alcoholic and, and, and _wow_ , this line of thought is really depressing you.

You distract yourself with thoughts of a movie night and snacks, and before long you're pulling in to the parking lot of your apartment building, undoing your helmet and hurrying inside to the finally-fixed elevator. It's been weeks since you haven't had to traipse up three flights of stairs to get home, but now you're there in a few seconds.

When you enter, Mutie chirrups and deigns to jump down from his perch on your window seat in order to rub against your legs and meow loudly at you.

"Yeah, yeah, I missed you too," you say, kneeling and letting him headbutt your palm. Stretching, you toss your keys expertly into the bowl by the door, and kick off your shoes. Mutie meows again. Probably hungry.  _Never let it be known that Roxy Lalonde spoils her cat,_ you think as you pull out a tin of tuna and tip it into his bowl. He chirrups again, nuzzles you, and gets to snacking. 

Your apartment is small but you adore it with every inch of your being. Naturally, a large portion of your living room is overtaken by a giant cat tree which, surprisingly, Mutie actually indulges in, and his bowls for food and water, plus his food which is always too heavy to carry all the way to the kitchen, so it stays in a little cupboard here. The rest is taken up by a giant squishy sofa, covered in quite a few stains, from coffee and alcohol back when you were at your worst. A TV is mounted on the wall, and a coffee table is shoved haphazardly in what space there is. It's a mess, but its  _your_ mess, and you couldn't be prouder of it. 

Down the hall there's a tiny bathroom, a kitchen and your bedroom, and its this way you head once Mutie is busy eating. Your room is perhaps your favourite place on earth, but its not your destination right now. That honour goes to your kitchen, home to all the food that isn't for your cat. Before you start grabbing food, though, you decide to check the actual plans, see if you have time to settle down and cuddle with Mutie a little before you rock up at Dirk and Jakes. 

TT: Hey, whos up for a movie night?   
GG: me!!!   
GG: Me too!   
TG: me three   
GT: Me four!!   
TT: Jake, I know you're okay with it, I already messaged you.   
GT: The others didnt!   
TG: we could take a wild guess   
GG: i asked john and rose, they said yes too!!   
TT: Sweet, looks like everyone's down.   
GG: Roxy?   
TT: She already knows. Okay, so. Yall come to my and Jakes house at 8, bring snacks and a movie or two. We'll do The Hat. Sound good? 

And thats all you needed to hear. Glancing at the clock, its already reached 7:45, and you swear under your breath, grabbing a few snacks from your cupboards, a couple of movies from the stack by your sofa, your keys from the pot, and rushing out the door by 7:50. 

==> Roxy: Arrive late. 

You indeed arrive late, but only by a few minutes. It's long enough for everyone to have already converged on Dirk and Jake's apartment.

If your room is your favourite place in the world, then Dirk and Jakes entire home comes a close second. It's bigger than your own, but thats unsurprising given Jake's hefty salary. Everyone has descended into the living room, and you burst in with a wide grin and a wink.

"Lets get this party started!" you cheer as you push the door open with your hip and toss a bag of popcorn at the nearest recipient, which happens to be John. 

"Roxy!" they all cheer back, and you plop yourself down in the middle of them all and dump your movies in the waiting hat on the table. The Hat was something you all devised on your very first movie night. Technically its a bag, not a hat, but you were drunk and slapped a label saying The Hat on the front, and since then thats been its formal name. A real hat probably wouldnt be big enough for 8+ movies.

"Whos gonna pick first?" John asks from his perch on one of the beanbags on the floor. Jade sits beside him, on another beanbag, while Dave lounges upside down, hanging off of the sofa. Rose is perched on the arm of the sofa. You're sat beside Daves legs, with Dirk on your other side, and Jake is sat on the back of the sofa, feet where his ass is technically meant to go, while Jane leans against the other arm of the sofa. It's squished, but not as bad as if you all tried to squish on the sofa. Especially Jade. She's usually banned from sitting on the sofa with all of you, on the premise of being 6'3 and bulging with muscles. 

Hands shoot up at Johns question, but Jake wins out for being the first one up. With a grin, he shoved his hand in the bag, and pulled out a copy of Mean Girls. "Alright, who the devil put this in?"

All eyes turn towards Dave. He smirks and waggles his eyebrows. "Good movie. Put it in, Jake."

Jake rolls his eyes good-naturedly but obliges, and before long the familiar movie starts playing. You relax against the sofa, ripping open a pack of Doritos, which seems to attract Dave, who descends on the bag and reluctantly shares it with you. 

People shift about a bit during the movie, and once its done Rose manages to get movie-picking privileges, pulling out an old copy of Pretty in Pink, courtesy of you, and you grin from your new seat at the side of the sofa. 

About halfway through, though, your mind wanders, specifically to the paper still digging into your thigh, and you pull it out of your jeans with some difficulty. Staring at it makes you smile. Somehow, whoever drew it made you look a lot nicer than you normally do, and you keep a soft smile on your face as you scan it.

You leave Dirk and Jakes last out of everyone, after a marathon of five movies, in the early hours of the morning. The ride home wakes you up more than you'd like for 1am, but also clears your mind. You still have the soft smile when you collapse into bed and pass out a few minutes later, Mutie curling up on your back, making you smile even more into your pillow. 

==> Roxy: Be late for work. 

It's unsurprising, really, you think as you race to work, cursing. You hadn't been up that late in a while, and extroverted personality aside, you had been exhausted from work. And now you were going to be late,  _again._

You arrive and rush in, pretending like you're not ten minutes late, and it appears to go over... okay? No one comments on your late or disheveled appearance, and thats good enough for you, so you get on with your work and decide not to bring it up.

Nothing much happens all day, besides the tiny angry man and white haired girl returning, this time not buying anything. The girl doodles again on the tester sketchbook, and your mind wanders to the drawing you left on your bedside table last night. Maybe...? 

Before you get a chance to walk over and try to not be creepy by peering over her shoulder, someone wants to buy some paint, and then someone wants to buy some pencils, and before long she's disappeared and you're left with a vague sense of disappointment. But the chaos of the work day soon takes over, and all but pushes it out of your mind. Of course its not  _fully_ disappeared - no, this is too intriguing. 

Once the store clears out for closing time, you immediately rush out from behind the counter and flick through the sketchbook to see if another drawing had been added - not even necessarily of you, you just want to know if the artist had come back. Sure enough, you find a little doodle, once again of you, this time in the midst of laughter, throwing your head back with uproarious giggles. It's accompanied by a note, written in silver pen, with an odd habit of capitalising the "u"s. 

Dirk wanders over to read over your shoulder, and you feel a smile spreading as you read.

hello!   
i noticed my drawing was removed and i'd jUst like to say i'm very sorry if yoU didnt like it! i jUst think the employee who works at the coUnter is very cUte and i wanted to draw her! u-u   
if yoU woUld like me to stop, jUst, Um, write it next to this! or... something? :U   
-C

You grin at Dirk. "Man, whoever this C person is, they're the goddamn cutest." you say, as you grab a hot pink pen and kneel down to write your response. "I hope they come back."

"You're doubting they will? I think that note pretty heavily implied they're planning at least one return visit."

"What do you think they look like?" you ask excitedly, doodling a cat beside your response. Dirk shrugs.

"Hard to say. Unless they plan on drawing themself. Then fuck, dude, we're in the money."

You snort. "Nerd."

He flips you the bird. "Suck it, Lalonde."

You read over your little note, scanning your eyes around the little "aw"s that had been added by random other people at C's note. 

by all means continue theyre hells of cute <3

As an afterthought, you decide you should probably clarify your identity.

the names roxy by the way. yknow, the cute employee. ;)

"Do you think the winky face is too much?" you ask Dirk, chewing on the end of your pen. He reads over your note and tilts his head, before ultimately shaking it. 

"It'll be fine, Rox."

You nod in agreement and straighten up, giving the notes one last loving glance, before following Dirk out the door to lock up, and heading to the parking lot. 

==> Roxy: Rinse and repeat. 

Sure enough, you go through the motions of bike home, feed Mutie, eat, watch TV, shower, etc., and before long you're back at work, feeling half excited to see if C returns, half... kind of empty. While the whole secret admirer business is exciting, its kinda reminding you how repetitive and monotone your life has been becoming recently. You never really go out anymore, not since you quit alcohol - the temptation is too great. You watch movies with your friends, cuddle your cat, and work in retail. And god damn do you want a girlfriend.

There's a thought. What if C isn't a girl? You have nothing against guys, except for the fact that you aren't attracted to them. You realised that little nugget of information after a rather embarrassing incident involving Dirk and a hot dog, which you'd rather not talk about. Gods, you hope C is a girl, and if they are you hope they're down to date, not just appreciating your aesthetics. Which, you think as you remember all the fairy lights and cacti in your room, are fairly good aesthetics, if you do say so yourself. 

The white haired girl is back, this time actually without the skinheaded angry man, and your theories are strengthened when she not-so-subtly makes a beeline for the sketchbook and gasps slightly when she flips a page. You think her face goes red, but you can't really tell from where you stand behind the counter. 

You scan her up and down a couple of times. If she is the mystery artist, then you're in luck - she's adorable. She cant be any taller than five foot, and she's wearing the same oversized raincoat she was when she came in a couple of days ago, that has a fluffy hood and all but swallows her u- is she wearing a suit under there? Or a waistcoat at least. Well thats unexpected, and yet inexplicably cute? Her hair is even cuter, soft waves falling to about her shoulders, and goddamn if her face isn't the cutest thing you've ever seen.

Oh. Oh shit. She's coming this way. She's coming this way and she's blushing and she's holding a sketchbook and a pack of mechanical pencil leads. You feel yourself blush lightly, but straighten up as she approaches - ha, no, if anything you're getting gayer. 

"Um, hello!" she chirps as she pushes her purchases into the counter. Oh fuck, she's British, or at least has a hint of an accent. That's even cuter. 

"Hello," you say, trying not to stare as you blush and scan her items. She seems to be fighting with herself about whether to say something or not. Eventually, you're about to read her total, when she all but bursts.

"I'mtheonewhodrewyouonthesketchbookandmynameisCallieandyouareverycuteandIamveryflustered!" she says, all in one breath, and you blink, before stifling a wide grin, only letting out a soft chuckle. She looks up at you with wide green eyes. 

"That'll be 6 dollars and 12 cents, Callie," you say with a wink, and she seems to deflate slightly. As she hands you the money and collects her items, after being bagged by you, you print her receipt, grab a pink pen, and hurriedly scribble your chumhandle on the bottom of it. As she turns to leave, you slip the receipt into her bag, and hope she has the foresight to look at it, and also hope she can read your rushed scrawl. You aren't winning any handwriting contests anytime soon, thats for sure. 

The rest of the day is spent feeling lighter than air, completing any task people ask of you with a wide grin and a spring in your step. Dirk comments that its the happiest you've looked in a long time, and you hug him tight in response.

The day get a whole lot better when you return home and find messages from an unknown chumhandle left for you on your Pesterchum. It seems like the other person doesn't use Pesterchum. It says  _cheering._ How cute is that?

uranianUmbra [UU]  began cheering  tipsyGnostalgic [TG]   
UU: hello?   
UU: is this roxy?   
UU: if it is, hello!   
UU: if not, jUst tell me, and i shall be on my way! :U   
UU: oh! i almost forgot! this is callie! ^u^  
TG: youve indees recahed the chumhable of one roxy lalonde  
TG: how may i assist such a cute caller  
UU: oh goodness, hello! its a pleasUre to finally say hello properly!   
TG: m glad you coudlt read my wiritng  
TG: dont midn all the typos btw lol  
UU: oh, i dont mind!   
TG: goddamn youre the cutest little shit ever  
TG: so callie huh  
TG: suits you  
UU: thank yoU!   
UU: i'm ever so glad yoU weren't creeped oUt by my drawings... :U   
TG: oh god no teyre adorable  
TG: i lov em <333  
UU: do yoU really??   
TG: god yes  
TG: cutest shit ever  
UU: i'm so glad yoU liked them! ~^u^~   
TG: say uh  
TG: say i was interetsed in gettin coffee or somthing at some point  
TG: what would  
TG: wgar would your repsonse be  
TG: or just yknow hanging out sometime  
TG: becayse youre cute and im pretty gay  
TG: is that too forward? thats proabbly too forward  
TG: but there it is laid out where anuone can see it or more specifixally yoy and hopefulky reply yes

You hold your breath. She's probably freaked out. She's not replying. Oh god she's definitely freaked out. Damnit Roxy, did you have to be so forward? It's probably just the aesthetics. Damnit. Damn everything, damnit damnit da- oh no she's typing.

UU: of coUrse!!! i'd love to! ^u^

Well you aren't complaining.

TG: sweet  
TG: so uh  
TG: plans?

==> Roxy: Make plans with cute artist. 

A few minutes later, you have plans with said cute artist, and you're happily chatting away about mundane subjects that are somehow a thousand times more interesting when they're discussed by a girl wielding a habit of capital "U"s and light grey text. For instance, you discover that her full name is actually Calliope Cherub, and that gives you a good-natured laugh, because you can most definitely imagine her as one of those angelic little creatures. She in turn discovers that your full name isn't anywhere near as interesting, but seems to love it anyway.

After a while, the topic of the skinheaded man she came in with a few times comes up, and she wilts a little bit, or at least it seems that way. With none of the charm she'd been displaying beforehand, she informs you that hes her twin brother, named Caliborn and an absolute asshole. You tell her that you could tell that already, and she seems to perk up a little at the thought that you don't like him either, and the conversation is smoothed over as quickly as it was ruffled up.

Before long, you realise its nearing midnight, and it only clicks after a moment of panic about being late tomorrow that its Friday, hell yeah. That comes accompanied with a wave of panic that you decided on your coffee date with Callie on Saturday, and that means its tomorrow. Ohhh no its tomorrow.

You say your goodbyes and she seems genuinely sad to stop talking, but realises she should probably clock out as well and says a very adorable goodbye, leaving you blushing once again. You re-check your plans, promise to see each other tomorrow, and she logs off with a ^u^. Once you've logged off as well, you scoop up Mutie, who only chirrups in questioning, and curl your legs underneath you on your sofa, ready to have an existential crisis, featuring extensive talking to your cat.

"What if she decides I'm too boring, Mutie?" you ask him, eyebrows furrowing. He doesn't reply. "Oh no, what if she doesn't like me that much? What do I do then, Mutie? She's so cute but what if we're just not compatible?"

Mutie looks you deep in the eyes, and you feel like he might just say something, like hes about to impart relationship wisdom upon you that you would need for the rest of your waking - and sleeping - life. It's a tense moment.

He licks your nose. You sigh and pull him close to your chest, running your fingers through his fur.

"I haven't dated anyone in ages, Mutie," you say miserably, thinking about how badly that went. You spent a month wearing hamburger underwear and eating Ben and Jerry out of house and home. What if Callie goes the same way, or, even worse or maybe not you cant tell, things with her never even get off the ground? Maybe its not meant to be. Maybe it should have stayed as a schoolgirl crush and some cute drawings in a sketchbook which, incidentally, you've pinned up on the pin board above your bed, accompanied by polaroids of you and your friends, and a couple of notes to yourself. Maybe thats how it should be, maybe its not meant to blossom into a relationship. Or maybe it is, and you're reading way too much into it.

Well there's no doubt that you're reading way too much into it, thats for sure. You sigh. Roxy Lalonde is never usually this anxious, thats Dirk's and Jane's job. And Jake, to an extent. You're meant to be the party animal, but Callie's got you beat. You've never blushed so much speaking to a single person before. That's gotta mean something.

Mutie's starting to scratch and scrabble in an attempt to escape your arms. You let him go and sigh, pulling yourself off the couch and traipsing back to your room. The old craving for a drink is back, and you have to forcefully but mentally push it aside, although that doesn't do much good, so you go about your nightly routine in mental discomfort. Eventually, you just flop face-first into your pillows, and wink out like a light before long.

==> Roxy: Get ready for your date. 

This mainly involves you standing in your underwear, hands on hips, staring at the contents of your wardrobe like they're a matter of life and death. You want to impress, but you dont want to go overboard, might scare her away. You think back to the things she said she liked. Candy, art, writing, sunlight... With an overdramatic sigh, you check your nonexistent watch before pulling your phone out of your bra and checking the actual time. You've still got an hour. That's time.

==> Roxy: Panic. 

How did this happen? How the hell did this happen? Somehow, you whittled away an hour dicking around on your phone, and now you're faced with the very real prospect of being late on the first date. Not cool, Rox. Get your act together.

Good news is, you got together a great outfit, one thats just casual enough to look cute and fashionable, but formal enough to impress. It also features your favourite thigh-high kitty socks, which is always a plus. But there's no time to dwell on cat-themed foot coverings, because you gotta bike to the coffee shop ASAP. You can't keep Callie waiting.

==> Roxy: Bike to the coffee shop ASAP. 

You pull up outside and almost trip dismounting from your motorbike, like the Casanova you are. You can see a familiar head of white curls inside, and curse yourself out as you walk in, pulling your helmet off as you enter, shaking out your curls, and making a beeline for Callie's table. She gives you a cute smile as you sit down, but her eyes widen at the motorbike helmet you plunk down on the table afterwards.

"Hey," you say, somewhat self-consciously, running a hand through your hair and grinning. She smiles back, pushing aside a sketchbook and pencil that had been lying on the table in front of her in favour of resting her chin in her palms.

"I didnt know you rode a motorcycle!" she says cheerily, in lieu of a hello, and you chuckle, thumping your helmet lightly.

"Yeah, its just outside. I, uh, might have a spare helmet, if you wanted to go for a ride, sometime?" Fuck, she has a tooth that's sorta poking out a little bit, and its the cutest thing. You think you might be staring a little bit.

"Oh, I'd love to!" she chirps, face genuinely excited. You're definitely staring. "Should we order coffee first, though?"

"Hm?" Stop staring. It's getting creepy now. You manage to tear your eyes away and look down at the table, absolutely certain that your face is positively crimson. "Oh, yeah. I'll pay, what would you like?"

"Oh, I couldn't possibly! It's on me!"

"Callie, you can fight me on this. I'm buying that coffee."

"Oh no you don't!" You're both giggling, mock-fighting over the middle of the table, when she springs up. "You'll have to beat me to it!"

You spring up in turn. "You're on, Callie!" Jokingly, you race to the counter, which is barely more than a few steps away. The barista raises an eyebrow at you. "Um, I'll have.."

Oh shit, now you've gotta do that thing where you scan the drinks list once you're already at the counter and its just awkward for everybody. Callie seems to notice your predicament and steps in. "I'll have a cappuccino with extra milk, please!" she says, as you desperately try to decide within the few seconds she bought you.

Eventually you just blurt out "I'll have a caramel latte, please," and the barista rolls their eyes and turns to make your drinks. You and Callie share a glance and a giggle.

When it comes to paying, you're much more prepared, and manage to thrust your credit card forward faster than Callie could, shooting her a smirk as you punch in your pin. She mock-pouts. "I'll just have to get you back," she says, determined, and you smirk.

"Oh yeah?" The barista hands you your coffees on a tray and you return to your table.

"Yeah!" She takes her cappuccino and takes a big sip, before making a face. "Ah! That is far too hot!"

You giggle. "Owned." You then immediately burn your own tongue on your caramel latte, and have to play it off as best you can. Naturally, Callie notices, and pokes her tongue out at you, in that way cats do when they got distracted in the midst of cleaning and just kind of forget to put their tongues back in their mouths. She's got froth on her upper lip from her cappuccino, and you can feel your heart melting. "Meant to do that," you mutter, in regards to the burnt tongue, and she giggles, blowing gently on her coffee to cool it down.

Halfway through your mostly-quiet coffee drinking session, your hand sneaks over to the sketchbook she had laying on the table before you arrived. "Can I look?"

She deliberates, but ultimately nods, even as she's ducking her head behind her mug to hide the growing blush. You thumb through the sketchbook. They're mostly sketches of people you don't recognise, but a few of them are faces from people you can see in the coffee shop around you, signalling that she was sketching the people around her before you arrived. One of them is half finished. You think it might be the grumpy barista, but you cant tell as most of their face is missing. "Callie, these are... really, really good."

She flushes deeper. "Oh, stop it!"

"I'm serious!"

"I never said you weren't! I said to stop!" But she's giggling, and you grin as you finish flicking through the sketchbook and place it down on the table, before picking it up again.

"Can I draw something?"

She pushes the pencil in your direction and you pick it up. "By all means, Rox!" You nod, and get to work, sketching as best you can the girl sitting opposite you. She seems to notice after a little while, and smiles into her coffee, which is almost empty at this point, but still a good distraction. Eventually, you finish, having doodled a little Callie, down to her waist. It's not up to the standards of Callie herself, but you push it towards her anyway, a hopeful grin on your face, and she gasps, a smile spreading. Before you can say anything, though, she grabs the pencil back and starts drawing a little figure next to your drawing, and its your turn to smile into your coffee and try not to watch. You know from Dirk that artists dont necessarily like to be watched when they draw.

After a minute, she pushes the sketchbook back to you, and you almost choke on your latte. She's drawn an adorable little you, holding hands with your mediocre drawing of her. Holding out your hand for the pencil, she drops it in, and you hesitantly pause before drawing a tiny heart between the two of them. You both blush, make brief eye contact and avert your gazes, acutely aware of how furiously both your cheeks are blazing. Quick, change the subject so you dont spend the rest of the date awkwardly avoiding eye contact for fear of making this any cheesier than it already is.

==> Roxy: Finish up the time in the coffee shop and head outside. 

Eventually, you head outside, and eye up your motorbike, before noticing Callie doing the exact same thing. You appraise the situation quickly, before making a very rash decision that probably opposes a hell of a lot of road safety laws.

You nudge her in the side with your helmet, and when she turns around you hand it to her. "Wanna go for a ride?"

She stares down at the helmet in her hands, and then back up at you. "But you only have one helmet, Roxy!"

You shrug offhandedly. "We'll stop by my place, pick up my spare. For now, you're my priority safety, babes." And you add a wink, just for extra cheesiness, but it seems to work, because her mouth turns into a little o and she puts on the helmet with no further protest. You swing yourself onto your bike and situate her on the back, instruct her to cling onto you if she feels like she's gonna fall off, and to trust you. She nods with that adorable one-sticky-out-tooth grin and you grin back, revving up the engine. She immediately clings desperately to you, like her life depends on it, and you can't help but laugh. "You'll be okay, Cals!"

And with that, you're shooting down the road, speeding away and hooting gleefully at the feel of the wind whipping your face, not to mention the tiny form of Callie pressed against your back. Somehow, the ride is a thousand times more exhilarating with a girl holding onto you and no helmet, if a thousand times more dangerous as well. Its too soon when you pull into your apartment block parking lot, and Callie hops off with a wide grin, chattering away about how amazing it was, and you grin away as you ride the elevator up and enter your apartment. Now, to find where you put that helmet.

As you root around in a cupboard, you can hear Callie conversing with Mutie in the living room, and pause for a second, just to hear how cute she sounds, and let yourself indulge in how it would be to hear her saying hello to Mutie every morning, have her wake up beside you, make her pancakes in the morning and have coffee dates on the regular, take your motorbike all over the place and discover things together, and it makes you a hell of a lot more determined to uncover that spare motorbike helmet. 

Luckily, you eventually do, and wander into the living room triumphantly waving it in the air, a wide grin decorating your face. Callie has curled up on the sofa, Mutie in her arms, purring away, and she smiles up at you when you enter, making you pause. You could get used to this. Entering the living room to see Callie sitting there, have her greet you with a smile and a cherry hello, perhaps cuddle up next to her? But you shouldn't let yourself get carried away. For now, you just toss her the motorbike helmet, and head out to tear up the roads with a cutie behind you. 

==> Time: Pass. 

More specifically, a week or so passes, and you find yourself settling into a rhythm. You would talk with Callie every night - while not neglecting your other friends, because you've watched romcoms, and you dont want to be That Girl who finds a love interest and immediately abandons her friends in favour of her new mans, and besides, all your friends love Callie once they meet her, which is fairly soon after you do - and you've had a couple more dates with her, specifically three, and everyone knows that things start getting serious after three dates. You currently find yourself on your fourth date with her, which has the two of you laying on a hill, motorcycle and helmets laying nearby. Its a Saturday evening, and the stars are just starting to come out, and you're holding hands, and you dont know whether you'd rather look at Callie or the stars. 

That's a lie. Of course you know. You'd rather look at Callie any day. But she won't let you, keeps pointing out constellations, and you oblige, seeking out each one, because you've fallen hard and fast for this girl, and you'd steal away anything if she asked you to. 

But she hasn't spoken for a few moments, and neither have you. The only sound is the crickets chirping nearby, and the wind rustling through the grass by your heads.

You're first to break the silence. "Callie?"

"Hm?"

"I... Can I... Can I kiss you?"

You hear a soft gasp, and then she rolls over, green eyes wide, and you just know that you could get lost in those huge lime eyes. You smile nervously, and she giggles, eyes creasing. "Did you even have to ask, dearie?"

And thats all the incentive you need to sit up, pulling Callie with you, and meeting her lips gently with your own, closing your eyes and just allowing yourself to melt into the kiss. You've never kissed her before. You've always been too scared that it'd be too soon, which is surprising, given how little you cared about making out with strangers back in your drinking days. But that was back in your drinking days, and this is now, and your hands are entwined with Callie's, and you can feel both of you smiling against the kiss, before you slowly and agonizingly pull away. She's flustered. You can tell by the flush spreading across her face, and you rest your foreheads together, trying to formulate a sentence through the fuzzy loved-up feeling in your brain. "I guess we could officially be described as girlfriends now."

"That we could!" Callie giggles, and follows it up with a sigh, squeezing your hand. "I love you, Roxy."

Your head jerks back, and so does hers, and when you meet her eyes there's panic in them. "Oh goodness, was that too soon? I'm so sorry, the moment just seemed right, and I-"

You cut her off with another soft kiss, and feel her melt into it willingly. This one lasts a little longer, and when you pull away this time you immediately crack a smile. "I love you too, Calliope."

==> Time: Pass. 

Months have passed, and your beautiful, beautiful girlfriend is finally moving out of the shitty apartment she shares with her asshole brother and into yours. She told you that she could move via a doodle - in fact, that's how you've taken to relaying a lot of information to each other, or just little notes; via doodles. Much better on her part, but you're improving. She gave you some art tips in the early stages of your relationship, and now its commonplace to hand one another little sketches and comics, typically with a heart at the end, and only your first initial to sign off. You still work at the art store, and occasionally when you check the sketchbooks you'll find a little note from Callie, surrounded by little "aw"s from other people, often Dirk. He takes a bit of credit for the two of you getting together and honestly you dont blame him. If he hadn't checked the sketchbook that one day, you might never have seen the first drawing that got the ball rolling.

As you sit, curled up on the sofa together, wearing fuzzy socks, underwear and oversized T-shirts, you feel the overwhelming sensation of being utterly at peace. You have your beautiful artist girlfriend, who means the world to you. You have beautiful supportive friends, who mean just as much. You never thought you could feel quite this happy, quite as happy as you do when you're holding hot chocolate in the winter and snuggling close to Callie, as when you're half-awake and she's sat at her drawing tablet sketching away, as when she kisses you to sleep when you wake up and start pacing, as when she's a way better high than alcohol ever was. 

"Callie?"

"Hm?"

"... I love you."

"I love you too, Roxy."

You boop her nose. She lets out a little giggle-snort and boops you back, and you nuzzle back into her side, sighing lightly. "Something on your mind, darling?" she asks, brow furrowing like it always does when she's concerned about you. You chuckle, breathe in the scent of your perfume mixed with her candy, and lean forward to pick up one of the many sketchbooks strewn across your coffee table, flicking to an empty page to sketch out an answer. She averts her eyes. It's the rules - you cant watch when an answer is being composed, its bad luck. You devised that rule when she kept sneaking looks over your shoulder whenever you drew, and she pouted about it for a while, but quickly realised she could use it against you, and now its just a rule that doesn't need refreshing.

You tap her arm to get her attention, and hand her a little doodle of you grinning widely, giving two thumbs ups, with a heart above it. She smiles and kisses you on the forehead. Everythings fine. You have your drawings, and you have Callie, and how could you forget Mutie? He certainly seems indignant about it, based on the way hes clamouring for cuddles, and naturally you aren't going to deprive him.

It seems like so long ago that you saw that very first drawing of you on the sketchbook, you ponder as you watch Callie tickle Mutie's belly. It still keeps its place on your pin board, but its been surrounded by even more drawings, and polaroids, and little doodles, and candy wrappers for no apparent reason, and all but covered up, but often once Callie's gone to sleep, you'll stand and you'll look at the drawing, and you'll run your hand through her soft white hair, and everything will be quiet. Sometimes she'll wake up slightly, sometimes she won't.

You still get the craving for alcohol, sometimes. Callie talks you out from it, takes you down from the high you're chasing, constantly, and you calm. Everything is... okay. Yeah. You're happy.

==> Time: Pass. 

It's been three years.

You don't work at the art store anymore. You work in a little cat café in the city, but its pretty okay, there's nothing wrong with it. Dirk landed a job building robots, and you're immensely happy for him. You're perhaps even happier that Jake got scooped up for a role in an upcoming movie, and began a path down that career, and managed to quit his waiter job in favour of being a jungle boy and actor. He and Dirk married about a year ago, and they couldn't be happier. Janey opened a bakery. John pursued stand up comedy, and Rose became a fortune teller, and started dating a girl called Kanaya. You guess lesbianism runs in the family. Jade began looking after dogs, and Dave started directing movies, often featuring Jake as the star. There's something to be said for loyal friends.

Things are looking up. You've been through rough patches, with all your friends, but you've all soldiered on, and everything in all of your lives right now is... amazing. To say the least. 

The most amazing thing in your life, though, is your long-time girlfriend, Calliope Cherub, the love of your life and hotshot artist. And you've decided, after a long, long time, a very hard decision and many a phone call to Jane at 3am (who was amazingly patient, you owe that girl), that you want to marry her. You want to call her your wife, and you want to marry her.

You still live in the same tiny apartment - there were too many memories to part from it, mainly from you, given that you lived here a lot longer than Callie did. But its in the same familiar living room that you find Callie now, fidgeting with her shirt cufflinks. She's grown a tiny bit in the last three years. You think she might actually be brushing five foot now.

Once you get onto the motorbike, you know exactly where you're going, and you think Callie does too. You're heading to the hill where you first kissed, where you first exchanged "I love you"s, not to mention where things were first made official. It only felt appropriate.

Once you get there, you decide to cut straight to the chase, and make you both stand there as you clear your throat. Callie cocks her head, and you flush. "Um. Callie. Calliope. Okay. Here we go."

She giggles. "Here we go with what now?"

You take a deep breath. Steel yourself. "Calliope Cherub, you may have a somewhat silly sounding surname, but I adore it. You make my life better every day you're in it. I've loved you from the very first day I saw you, from the very first sketch I drew of you, and.." Shit, you're fumbling. Wrap up the speech, cut to the chase. You sink to one knee, producing a little black box from your jacket pocket, and the gasp Callie produces is all worth it. "And I know I'll love you till my dying days and even beyond, so... will you, will you marry me?"

When you open the box, naturally there's a ring, sparkling and beautiful, but tucked in there as well is the very first drawing she ever did of you, but you've added to it. It was a drawing of you being not-very-subtly on your phone, and you've added Callie doing the exact same thing, and you hope it gives off the right vibe that you're messaging one another. Callie lets out a sob. You hope thats good.

You know its good when she throws her arms around you and sobs out a yes, and you break down in laughter, wrap your arms around her waist and swing her around, kiss her like your life depends on it. She kisses back just as lovingly, and in that moment you know there's no one you'd rather spend the rest of your life with than this girl, this girl and your cuddly little cat and your too-small apartment and it'll be perfect.

==> Time: Pass. 

You're married in the autumn, and you're not ashamed to say you cry openly when Callie comes down the aisle, radiating beauty. Dirk is, naturally, your best man, with Jake, John and Dave as groomsmen, while Jane stands as maid of honour, Rose and Jade behind her as bridesmaids. Callie's bouquet is made of paper roses, and when she throws it its caught by Rose, who not-so-slyly steals a glance at Kanaya, and you get the feeling you might be attending another wedding soon.

When you dance, Callie hums along to the music, and you can feel love swelling in your heart. It took a lot to afford this wedding. You had to stop spoiling Mutie so much, God forbid. But you scraped together the money, and your vows are exchanged through little drawings and notes, passed to one another during the ceremony, like your own little secret, and you adore it. You adore how Callie it is, how reminiscent it is of how you met, how unique it is, and the only thing better than it in the whole ceremony is when you literally scoop Callie off her tiny feet to kiss her when you're told you may kiss, and now you're dancing, swaying back and forth alone on the dance floor, feeling eyes acutely on you, all too reminiscent of your alcohol days, but you focus on Callie, the beat of her heart, the adoring look on her face, and you smile, and everythings okay.

When you get home from the wedding, you ask her where she wants to go on her honeymoon, and she laughs and says the art shop where you used to work. You laugh back and meet her for a kiss, but the following week you visit, see how things have changed - and things really have changed. The tester sketchbook has moved positions, but you leave your mark anyway, in the form of little hearts in the corner of the page, and thats enough for you. You dont buy anything. The cashier gives you a dirty look as you leave. You stick your tongue out and wrap your arm around Callie, pulling her closer, and she wraps her arm around you in turn. She's your wife, and you adore her.

Mutie gets sick, and you take care of him as best you can, but eventually he dies. Callie holds you as you sob. Mutie had been your best friend through thick and thin, had loved you when you didnt love yourself, had always been there, through everything. You cry for hours, but Callie never leaves, nor gets tired, just shushes and holds you close and lets you soak her shoulder in tears and never complains.

You dont get another cat, it would feel like betrayal. Callie understands. You often find sketches of a cat that looks just like Mutie pinned up in random places, and the first time it makes you cry, but then you begin to take comfort in them, and soon you're as over Mutie's death as you think you'll ever be. He was an old cat. You're glad he died happy and warm and loved, not in pain and suffering like he could have done, and the first night you feel fully over it you steel yourself and sell his cat tree. Callie lets you cry a little again once the living room looks so much more empty without it. She's always there, to help you through everything.

In turn, you help her through when her brother is being a raging dickhead, and scare him off for her when she's too intimidated to do it. You hold each other when each of you cry, and random uplifting notes become commonplace, so much so that when friends come over they often find Post-its under the couch cushions with little hearts doodled on them. You and Callie laugh and keep writing your notes. You know your friends love them as much as you do, especially Dirk, who still takes pride in bringing you two together, or so he says. You roll your eyes and remind him who introduced him to Jake. He admits defeat but never quite lets it slide. You love him for it anyway. 

But nothing could beat how much you adore Callie, and you know deep in your heart that you could never abandon her, not in a million years. You never could have. You were doomed from day one. You often tell her that, when you're snuggled in bed together, and she hums in agreement before nuzzling in close to you and drifting off, and you have absolutely zero complaints about it whatsoever. You have no complaints about anything she does. Well, naturally you have arguments, but they never last long, and they're never serious. The worst argument you've ever had resulted in you storming out for all of half an hour before rushing back in and both of you apologising profusely. You love her to pieces, and when you think about how sad and empty your life was a few years ago, its hard to believe that was really you. Life is better now. You have Callie.

==> Roxy: Be more happy. 

Yeah. You can do that.

**Author's Note:**

> Roxy's typos are all unintentional, I just can't type  
> I also dont know retail I'm a 14 year old kid whos never had a job gimme a break
> 
> My Roxy headcanon if anyone wanted a clearer picture  
> -5'8  
> -trans  
> -vitiligo with mainly pale skin but patches of darker skin  
> -hot pink frizzy curls  
> -star tattoo on the corner of her right eye, UU on her collarbone (in aus where there's Sburb she also has the void symbol on her right bicep)
> 
> I'm not very good at characterising either Roxy or Callie (I've never written Callie before yikes) so apologies
> 
> did this random idea i had while at an art store warrant 10k words (aka the longest oneshot ive ever written)?? yes. yes it did


End file.
